today, i finally stop being naughty and start to blog again... stopped blogging for quite some time juz to make suwen's nugget post remain on the first page... afterall, nth special reli happen these days... but today, i feel a little unhappy deep inside my heart... i reli don understand y cant my father b a little more understanding... i, a 21 years old girl, is it too much to go out till 11pm during chinese new year? frankly speaking, i think i m considered as a good girl... i dont smoke, i dont hav bad habits, i try my best to take care of my family, i try to earn my own pocket money, i try my best to study, i dont go out unnecessarily every night, i m good... but y cant they juz trust me more? y he stil reufse to give me the freedom i should have just like my sister do? i hav been struggling so hard to be better than her, or at least be as good as her in all aspects, but y he still thinks i m naive n useless? y cant he understands whats in my mind? i just wan to enjoy my life once in a blue moon, is that wrong? i will understand if u r juz being worried about my safety, but to me, i dont think u r worried... today morning, i dont have to wake up so so early, su leng told u i m not feeling well, din reli sleep well last nite... but yet, u still force su leng to wake me up... its still ok if u reli hav sth for me to do... but u juz wan to make me awake!!! ur aim wasnt to make me help grandma!!! grandma didnt even said she wans me to wake up!!! y do u wan to b so cruel, dont u know i m edi struggling to be like the gal u love the most? dont u know i juz wan to b happier in my school life?? i have my own limits, cant u see that? dont u feel that i have the ability to hadle my own stuff? cant u juz giv me the chance to proove to u that i can do it? dont u know i feel reli unhappy inside? i tried to help everyone in the family, but u never appreciate me.. i reli hope i can hav courage like shim yei, the courage to talk to u face to face about these issues, about all my sadness when i m facing u... but i dont dare... i still hope that i can b ur gal, the gal that u trust... i know if i voice out, i will make u angry or mayb make the house lose its true happiness... i dowan that to happen.. i truly hope daddy, u will understand one day, that i m unhappy, that i think u din treat the 4 of us equally...
11:29 AM
Tuesday, February 12, 2008 COLOURED.
12-1-2008
today, i finally stop being naughty and start to blog again... stopped blogging for quite some time juz to make suwen's nugget post remain on the first page... afterall, nth special reli happen these days... but today, i feel a little unhappy deep inside my heart... i reli don understand y cant my father b a little more understanding... i, a 21 years old girl, is it too much to go out till 11pm during chinese new year? frankly speaking, i think i m considered as a good girl... i dont smoke, i dont hav bad habits, i try my best to take care of my family, i try to earn my own pocket money, i try my best to study, i dont go out unnecessarily every night, i m good... but y cant they juz trust me more? y he stil reufse to give me the freedom i should have just like my sister do? i hav been struggling so hard to be better than her, or at least be as good as her in all aspects, but y he still thinks i m naive n useless? y cant he understands whats in my mind? i just wan to enjoy my life once in a blue moon, is that wrong? i will understand if u r juz being worried about my safety, but to me, i dont think u r worried... today morning, i dont have to wake up so so early, su leng told u i m not feeling well, din reli sleep well last nite... but yet, u still force su leng to wake me up... its still ok if u reli hav sth for me to do... but u juz wan to make me awake!!! ur aim wasnt to make me help grandma!!! grandma didnt even said she wans me to wake up!!! y do u wan to b so cruel, dont u know i m edi struggling to be like the gal u love the most? dont u know i juz wan to b happier in my school life?? i have my own limits, cant u see that? dont u feel that i have the ability to hadle my own stuff? cant u juz giv me the chance to proove to u that i can do it? dont u know i feel reli unhappy inside? i tried to help everyone in the family, but u never appreciate me.. i reli hope i can hav courage like shim yei, the courage to talk to u face to face about these issues, about all my sadness when i m facing u... but i dont dare... i still hope that i can b ur gal, the gal that u trust... i know if i voice out, i will make u angry or mayb make the house lose its true happiness... i dowan that to happen.. i truly hope daddy, u will understand one day, that i m unhappy, that i think u din treat the 4 of us equally...
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